Non Realized Drive
by ThomE.Gemcity-06
Summary: Sequel to: NON REVERSABLE EFFECTS. It started with blackouts, and then something started to take control of his body. And after it used his body to hurt innocent people, it dragged Nick's body through the stargate. Part 5.
1. Prologue

**a/n: **_Sequel to: __NON REVERSIBLE EFFECTS__. THIS IS THE 5TH ISTALLMENT TO THE /NON/ SERIES. IT HAD BEEN A WHILE, SO I SUGGEST YOU BRUSH-UP ON (EXISTENT WISH, WISHABLE ACTIONS, NEGOTIABLE ROYAL, AND REVERSABLE EFFECTS)_

**NON REALIZED DRIVE**_**:  
**_**PROLOUE**

Dreams...

They can be interpreted to be a meaning for several different things.

Sometimes, they're just your imagination going wild while you're asleep.

Sometimes, they're things that you wish to happen in the real world.

And at times, in different cultures, they can be interpreted as the future.

But maybe sometimes it just doesn't have to be that complicated. Dreams could be just a last resulted of your subconscious trying to tell you something that you're just to bull-headed to realize on yourself.

And sleepwalking... well, if that starts to happen, then you're in big trouble.

Like me.

I had enough problems to deal with already. So stuff like this? That was kicking me while I was down.

**Nickolas P. Summers.**

**C#- 00357-9648-0901**

**RANK- Lieutenant**

**y**


	2. Chapter 1

**NON REALIZED DRIVE:  
CH1 **

I looked at my reflection in the mirror of my bathroom in my quarters, checking myself to make sure that I was presentable for the public. It had been four-years since I had to last buy any new clothes.

Seeing as I was no longer technically human anymore, it had been long since I had been in public.

When I found out that I wasn't completely human and could transform into an animal, my new home became Room 174 in the quarters unit inside the SCG. And because I was no longer fully human, I needed special permission, much like Teal'c, to go to the surface. So, what would be the point in me buying new clothes when I had the vast amount of SGC BDUs and jumpers? Then, when I was forced into my half-transformation, My body sort of... changed.

I was no longer as small as I was.

And then, of course. For the civilian clothes that I _did_ own, I had to make.. adjustments.

And of course as tedious and dull as this all may sound, having a tail does complicate things. As well as having cat ears, fangs, and non-rounded pupils.

As I had not recently realized, the temperature grew hot in the summers and I could no longer where my earflaps. I had to find something else, something that would seem normal and not draw attention.

Daniel had given me a suggestion, one that was more helpful than Jack's. The General had suggested a forage cap, which in no way would cover anyone's ears. But Daniel's suggestion, I note as I look at my reflection, worked rather well. A bandana it was.

"_Are you done yet, Nick?"_ Daniel complained in the other room.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, despite the fact that I knew that I was taking forever. I checked my ears one last time before I left the bathroom, flicking off the light as I went.

He was sitting on the edge of my bed, an impatient look on his face.

"What's your rush?" I asked him, as I went past and took my light jacket from next to the door.

He stood. "What's your delay?" he countered.

I frowned at him as I slipped my arms into the sleeves. "I haven't been upstairs in almost three-years, Daniel." I flipped the collar down. "Tuck me it, would you?" I asked him, showing him my back.

Daniel groaned. "Why do you have to call it that?" he asked as he tried to catch my twitching tail.

I felt a zing go up my spine from my tailbone at the touch, it still got me even after all this time. I gave my head a little shake as he lifted my jacket and tucked it under my long-sleeve shirt. I shot him a grin over my shoulder. "Because you're thinking too much into it."

Daniel made no comment. "Are you done yet?"

"Yes." I nodded, opening my door and gave a sweep of my arm, offering him the lead.

He went, but not before he muttered: "_Sam doesn't even take that long..."_

The trip up to ground was made in silence, but I held my breath the whole time. From what Daniel had told me, it was always at these moments of freedom that the klaxons always decided to play. But we reached the first floor without problem.

Daniel signed us out of the first check-point, and the late afternoon sun greeted us as we stepped out, and so did the rest of SG-1; Lt. Col. Mitchell, Lt. Col. Carter, and Teal'c who greeted Daniel and myself with a head bow. Mitchell had a different idea.

"Jackson! What took you so long? You've wasted away most of our team-bonding time!" Mitchell threw me a wink as Daniel's mouth fell open in his protest.

"That-that is completely Sam's fault." Daniel pointed the blame to her.

Sam gasped her shock dramatically. "Teal'c was the one that couldn't decide on which outfit to wear."

At this information, Teal'c's brow rose straight unto his forehead. "I believe that it was Colonel Mitchell who had insisted that his hair had not yet reached its perfection." he told us with great earnest.

All eyes turned to Mitchell, who narrowed his back. He crossed his arms. "Are we just going to stand here all day, folks, or what?"

Sam smiled and shook her head. "Where are we going anyway?" she asked.

She, Teal'c, Daniel and I all looked at Mitchell. This was his idea after all, and none of us knew where we were headed.

"I've thought long and hard about this," Mitchell told us. "And it's perfect. This is a game that we should all be on level with."

"Stop stalling." Daniel told him, his arms crossed.

"Bowling!" he simulated rolling the ball down a lane. And he didn't seem to get the reaction that he quite expected- except for maybe me.

"Ha!" I voiced.

Mitchell looked at me through narrowed eyes. "_Ha,_ what, Summers?"

"Nothing," I told them, looking as innocent as I possibly could, though I was sure they didn't buy it. "Well. As someone around here once said, what are we standing around for?"

"Yeah, how exactly do you plan on getting us all there, Mitchell?" Daniel questioned.

Mitchell looked at him, then he looked at the rest of us, and then Daniel, and the us again. He didn't say anything, just kept looking at us.

"You didn't think that far ahead, did you?"

Mitchell looked offended. "Why do I have to come up with everything? I'm only co-leader of this team, maybe you should ask Carter." he threw a thumb her way.

Sam was wide eyed as she was put on the spot.

I gave an exasperated sigh at the lot of them, and shook my head. "You guys can't figure out how to get to a bowling alley, and the world depends on you to defend it from alien attack?" I stated rhetorically. I got several raised brows in turn. "Carpool!" I informed them.

"Of course!" Mitchell agreed. "Not my car though," he said. Teal'c rose a brow at that. "What? It's a muscle car,"

"Well, my BMW wouldn't even fit Teal'c, let alone five people." Daniel said.

We all looked at Sam.

She puffed out her cheeks for a moment. "Fine. But I'm driving."

"Shot gun." Teal'c intoned.

Carter smiled at Mitchell, Daniel and myself. "That means you three get the backseat."

"How did I get stuck in the middle?" I grumped as Carter pulled out of the last check-point and onto the road, my arms crossed over my chest.

"You're the smallest, Summers." Mitchell grunted as he shifted in his spot on my left. "Middle's probably the best spot right now."

"No." Daniel disagreed. "Teal'c and Sam are the most comfortable right now." much like Mitchell, he was shifting and fidgeting, trying to find a position that was comfortable enough so that his hip wasn't jammed against the hard door.

"I concur with Daniel Jackson." Teal'c seemed rather pleased of himself as he presided over the passenger seat while we three were stuck in the back. Carter smiled at that.

Daniel paused for a moment to glower at the back of the big Jaffa's head, before he resumed shifting.

"Would you guys quit it, already?" I complained to both men on either side of me. "It's like being stuck between a bunch of kids!"

"What?!" they both voiced at the same moment. "You're the kid!"

I looked between the two, both seeming to look astonished. I couldn't help the laugh; it was rather uncanny at moments like this were they looked like they could be brothers. "Heh. Is that supposed to help your case?"

Both their mouths slammed shut with an audible click, they crossed their arms, grumpily. "Hm." They turned their heads away and glared out the windows.

Huh. It was quiet after that, all the way until we arrived at the bowling alley that Mitchell had given directions to.

It was quite fun after that. Daniel, unsurprisingly, went with the two-handed, granny throw. And surprisingly, for someone who had never played before, let alone never heard of the game, Teal'c beat us all. Even me, who, despite not having played since I was twelve, was sure that I still had it.

By the time that we were finished, all grins on our faces, it was dark and we weren't even bothered by being squished in the backseat, and instead went back to base a little more bonded.

y


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: SO, I'M GONNA BE COMING AT YOU WITH A NEW LANGUAGE HERE, JUST LOOK OUT FOR THE WEIRD LOOKING WORDS THAT NICK SAYS THAT ARE IN ITALICS.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH2 ****~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

I groaned and opened my eyes, staring at the lighted, tiled ceiling. I lay there, just breathing for a moment before I realized that this, was in fact, not my quarters ceiling above my bed. I turned my head first right and then left, and what filled my gaze wasn't the wall and my opened bathroom, but instead white tiled wall and shower stalls.

"Huh." I voiced.

I sat up with a grunt and the first thing that I did was look down at myself. I breathed a sigh of relief when I found that I _was_ wearing clothes. Well... just a pair of navy-blue track-pants, no shirt, or socks. I sighed, wishing now that I had worn the complete ensemble, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now.

I climbed to my feet and again looked around me. It looked like the men's shower, and I hoped that it was. What would I do if it was the women's'?

"Okay..." I came from the showers and to the locker room, searching for my locker. "28... 29... 30... 31!" I grasped my locked and quickly twisted in the combination. If I remembered right, I had a green jumpsuit in there. I tugged down on the lock, and with great relief, it gave way. I opened my locker and quickly slipped out of my track pants and into the jumpsuit, tucking my tail through the custom hole in the back before I slipped my arms through the sleeves and zipped it up. I slipped my bare feet into my sneakers before locking my locker back up.

I had no idea how I could have gotten in the showers. The last thing that I could remember was back to the SGC from team-bonding night, going to the mess hall, then going to bed. I shook my head, and left the locker room. The hall was rather empty, and now I wondered if it was late or not. My wrist was bare.

It was obvious that my first stop was going to be my quarters, but at the thought, my stomach gave an empty grumble of protest. I shrugged, what would be the harm it grabbing something quick to eat?

I pushed open the door to the mess hall, but before I could get any further than a step in, I bumped into Daniel. Literally. I opened my mouth apologize, but he beat me to it- or at least, speaking first.

"Nick? Where were you, I've been trying to find you." he told me, looking me up and down.

"Oh." I rubbed the back of my head. "Sorry, I was in the showers." I decided that I wasn't going to tell how I didn't get there by choice, see, that would just make simple things all the more complicated.

He looked at me through narrowed eyes for a moment, as if trying to decide if I was fibbing (technically, what I said wasn't a lie- I _was_ in the showers- I just wasn't taking one), and seemed to think that I wasn't, and shook it off. "Okay. Are you busy? I could use your help with something."

"Uh," I shot a glance at the line at the food before I looked back at him, and shrugged my shoulder. "Sure."

"Great." he smiled and slipped past me.

I gave one last glance at the food before I turned and followed him. "So, what is it that you need help with?" I lengthened my stride to catch up with him.

"Translating." he told me.

"Why do you need help with that? You're the language expert." I told him, as we stopped at the elevator and he scanned his ID card.

Daniel glanced at me. "You're not too bad with languages," he said as we stepped in. The doors closed. And he pressed level 28. "You have a photographic memory and I believe that after you've read my notes on the Ancient languages, you've gotten pretty good." he opened his mouth to continue, but I shook my head.

"This can't be good." I said.

"What?" Daniel tried to look innocent as we stepped off the elevator. When he knew that I wasn't buying it, he turned and started toward his office. "Okay." he admitted. "When I was sure that I was finally going to get to go to Atlantis, I equally spread out all of my projects to the others in my department, but since I decided that I was going to stay behind and rejoin SG-1, it seems like everyone is giving everything back. I'm over loaded!" he ran a hand through his hair; almost like Jack, he seemed to only do that when he was stressed.

I raised my brows. "That bad?"

He shot me a smile as the klaxons blared, indicating a 'gate activation. My ears flattened against my head in reaction. "_Unscheduled off-world activation. SG-13 to the 'Gate room." _Walter announced over the PA system.

I could hear multiple boots hitting the concrete before I even saw the SFs come around the corner. Daniel stepped into the doorway of another office and out of the way. And I squished to wall as they jogged passed, grazing the back of my of my head against one of the many pipes that lined the SGC.

The team passed and as we rounded the last corner to Daniel's office, I rubbed the back of my head. "That _urht._" I muttered.

Daniel stopped and turned to me. "That, what?"

"That hurt." I repeated.

"Oh." he looked at me with furrowed brows for a moment. "I could of sworn you said something else."

"I'm pretty sure that I didn't." I told him, stepping passed him and into his office. "Holy crap, Daniel!"

I had thought that Daniel's office was a disaster filled with priceless artefacts after priceless artefact that covered damn near all available space that wasn't occupied by his extensive collection of old tomes. But now, it was like a spoof horror movie: _**TAKE OVER OF THE STONE TABLETS.**_ But, after I thought about it for a moment, it didn't seem all that surprising.

"How could you have let it get this bad?" I asked him as he shouldered passed me and skirted around a extra-tall looking stack of books and papers.

"Do you know how hard it is to be off-world where 8-times out of 10, people are trying to kill you, then come back and have to translate everything of priority that all the other SG-teams brought back?" he shuffled papers around on his table.

I crossed my arms at that. "Oh yeah, %100." I deadpanned.

Daniel didn't even seem to notice. I rolled my eyes up towards covered skies, and commandeered a chair that was claimed by a box of Egyptian ceremonial statues. I pulled it up to his desk.

"Where do you want me?" I asked Daniel.

"Here." in front of me he dropped a yellow pad of paper, and a video recorder. "Write what you see."

I raised my brows at him, but he already had his nose in a book. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, ignoring the grumble in my stomach as I turned on the camera and got down to work.

I still didn't know what time it was, but I guess that wasn't a big deal. Waking up in the showers was a little concerning, and so was the fact of Daniel thinking I was saying things that I clearly wasn't.

But I didn't let myself think too much into it, this was the SGC, and weirder things had gone down.

y


	4. Chapter 3

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH3 ****~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Ugh." I groaned. My back was killing me!

I peeled my eyes open, and as my gaze pierced through the gloomy-darkness, I realized that the boxes and books were stacked onto the ceiling. I must be loosing my mind, I was sure of it. I tried to roll and get my knees under me, but it seemed that I was stuck. My neck felt strained and as I started to stretch and crack it, I found that it was hanging in the air.

A stupid-bomb seemed to have hit me, and I waved away the smoke. I was upside-down, and suddenly, everything seemed to make sense. I grunted with effort as I lifted my head and gave the place a proper look. And I realized, instantly, that this was Daniel's office. Strange. Confused, I looked down at myself like I had when I had woken up in the men's showers. This time, I was wearing my green jumpsuit from yesterday.

I wasn't lying flat on my back like before, and after some feeling around, I found that I was stuffed into a box. I flopped out of it onto the cold floor. The box was filled with objects. I knew that was where some of the pain had come from, the pain that wasn't caused at being stuffed in a box.

I was a little concerned now. First, waking up in the shower with no memory of getting there, and now Daniel's office? Yeah, I was concerned alright.

I just climbed to my feet when the lights flicked on. I blinked and looked to the door to see Daniel standing there in his usual blue fatigues, looking at me with furrowed brows of confusion, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand, a half-eaten Danish in the other with a folder under his armpit.

"Ehh." my eyes flicked around the room while I tried to think of something, not yet ready to tell him that I was probably going insane. I nearly snapped my fingers when I got it. "I came by to see if you still wanted my help with _ranstatinlg."_ I gave him a nervous smile.

"What was that?" he asked, stepping further into his office. And finished off his Danish.

"Huh?"

"What did you just say?" he repeated.

"Hm?" I played dumb. I heard it too. I think. Was that what he was talking about last time? "_Ranstatinlg. _No!" my hands went to my face. "Translating." I cursed silently.

That brow went, just the one. As he set his coffee on the corner of his desk and put the folder down. The one that was condescending, the one that made Daniel look snobby, and like a know-it-all. The brow that always seemed to go up when he-knew-that-he-was-already-right-and-it-was-about -time-that-you-knew-it-too. It was the one that Jack wanted to go black ops on- and I wanted to join him on that mission.

"Okay." I said through my teeth.

"I'm sorry, what?" he mocked me, his arms crossed, pretending not to hear me.

I glowered at him. "Put that eyebrow down, or I'm gonna shave it off." I threatened it, and to put a little backing behind it, I pointed at said brow with my nail turned claw.

Daniel's eyebrow dropped, and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought off the face-of-the-earth.

"So, translating, huh?" he asked.

I gave a heavy sigh as I sank into the chair next to me. How was I going to explain this, I was so confused myself. I put my head in my hands.

"Nick?" Daniel tone was worried now, and in my experience with Jack, it wasn't a good thing.

I took a deep breath and lifted my head. "Can you tell me what day it is?" I asked in all seriousness.

Daniel looked at me opened mouthed for a moment, before he gathered himself and cleared his throat. "Well, it Thursday, the 23rd." he told me. "0610."

I gave a breath of relief. I was happy with that answer, that meant that I hadn't blacked-out for more than a night. "Okay. On the night of the team bonding, I went to bed," Daniel nodded along, an intent expression on his face. "When I woke up, I was in the men's locker room showers."

Daniel didn't say anything for a moment, and I could tell that he was having a tug-of-war match with that eyebrow of his. It was twitching all over the place, and I knew it was because he had suspected something the day before. Finally, he breathed. His brow flat-lining. "You told me you were in the showers."

"Yeah." I shot him a winced-smile at that. "And after I was done **translating**_**,**_" I had to force my tongue one direction while it wanted to go another. "I went to bed, and when I woke up, I was in your office."

Daniel raised his brows a second in surprise, but then they sunk back down when he realized that it made sense, seeing as he found me here in the dark. "Alright."

"When I woke up, I was in a..." This next part, it was embarrassing as _hist_, and I knew that I didn't have to tell him this, but it was so messed up that I had to. I avoided eye contact. "In box."

"A box." he looked startled for a moment, before he covered it.

I kept my head bowed.

"Nick..." there was that worried tone again. "Have these... blackouts, happened before?"

I shook my head, my eyes down cased. "No."

"And those were the only times that it happened?"

I nodded.

Daniel crossed his arms and I could hear him thinking. "I think that we should see Janet." he told me.

I sighed, resigned. My shoulders slumped as I stood.

"You're going to be fine." Daniel threw an arm around my shoulder and led me out.

"Gah!" I flinched as Fraiser flashed a strong penlight into each of my eyes. I was more sensitive to it now that I have a foot on either sides of the line that parted human from animal. I resisted the urge to swat her hand away.

She'd done all the usual tests, and shooed the results out the door for the cause of this. She sighed in contemplation as she scribbled something on my chart.

"Can you think of anything that may have triggered these episodes?" she asked.

I wasn't sure how I felt about her calling them 'episodes', but that was better than the things that I was coming up with. I thought about her question, and I shook my head after a sideways glance at Daniel that sat in a chair next to the gurney.

"The night that it happened, I went off-base with the rest of SG-1." I told her. "We went for this... 'team-bonding night' is what Mitchell referred to it as."

Fraiser glanced at Daniel, who shrugged his shoulders in answer.

"And did you touch anything, eat anything that could be a trigger?"

I shook my head. "I didn't touch what the others didn't. Same with food,"

"He's right." Daniel agreed.

"All right." she sighed. "Since this seemed to of happened two nights in a row, I want to monitor your sleep tonight."

That was just creepy, and I was about to protest, but a look from Daniel shut it down.

"And what about your speech?" she asked.

"That started yesterday." I answered. "It's more than likely Quatonian."

She nodded, writing. "Come back at 11 p.m., Lieutenant." she ordered, giving Daniel a nod before she left.

I sat there in the silence, chewing the inside of my cheek, trying to think of what I would do until then, when Daniel turned to me.

"I think we should tell Jack." he said.

"What? No!" I protested, probably with more than a soldier should, as I jumped to my feet. "It's fine."

"Nick." he needled, getting to his feet as well.

"Everything is fine. The General doesn't need to know." I gave him a hard stare before I spun on my heels and strode stubbornly out of the infirmary.

I heard Daniel sigh, and I was sure I knew the undertone- the one that said he was going to go behind my back and tell Jack anyway.

**y**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER WILL BE TOLD IN ****3****RD**** PERSON P.O.V.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH4 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You don't have to be here for this, General." Fraiser told Jack as she checked her machines for consistent result as one of her staff finished hooking Nick up with sensors and relayed them to the machine.

It was the same type that doctors use on patients in sleep trials. The machine would monitor brain activity and the slightest muscle twitch, perspiration, and Nick's heart rate and blood pressure. Hopefully, it would help give them some answer as to what was happening to the Lieutenant.

Jack gave a heavy sigh as he leaned forward on his chair, his arm lay across his knees as he ran a hand over his face. "I'm the General of this facility, Janet. Nick is my soldier, and I'll be damned if there's something wrong and I don't know about it!"

That was all she needed to hear, and left him alone after that, reading the screen in front of her.

In a chair beside Jack, sat Daniel, who had for these last few minutes been chewing the inside of his cheek. He may have regretted telling Jack about Nick and this new issue after all. But, he reasoned with himself, Jack would have found out from Janet anyway, due to a point that Jack had pointed out a minute ago. Still... it was bad enough that he was stressed, and Nick was stressed, but now they piled that onto Jack's already stressed shoulders. If he didn't have enough gray hair already-

As if sensing Daniel's train of thought, Jack gave him a sidelong glance as he ran a hand through his short-cropped hair. "I can hear the gears in you brain a-winding, Dr. Jackson." he griped.

Daniel blinked, but said nothing.

Jack shifted in his chair, his shoulders slumping as he leaned back. "How could he have waited this long to tell us?"

Daniel sighed. "I think that the only reason Nick _did_ say anything was because I forced him into a corner." he said.

A screen in front of the two flicked on, showing a corner view of Nick's quarters. The picture was discoloured due to the mix of the night vision being on at the same time. But it was clear enough. Nick was finished being hooked up, and he lay on his bed in a simple pair of shorts, covered in many different wires connected to many different things. Fraiser's person packed up and left. The tech that had been hooking up the camera stepped down and gave it a wave before holding up a radio, and speaking into it.

"_General O'Neill, do you have a visual, sir_?" his voice came through.

Jack held up his own radio. "That's a roger."

The man nodded on camera. "_Sound check_." he lowered the radio and spoke.

Jack and Daniel watched as the tech's lips moved, but no sound came from the speakers.

"I don't hear any sound, soldier!" Jack barked into his radio. "Better fix that."

Daniel barely caught the flinch that crossed the tech's face.

The tech went out of view as he fiddled with the camera and then stepped back into view, the radio at his mouth. "_The connection seems fine on this end, sir. The problem must been on your end,"_

Jack looked like he was about to said something very un-General-like into his radio, but before he could, Daniel leaned forward in his chair and pressed a button on the monitor.

"-_tech savvy!"_ Nick's call blared through their speaker.

Jack's eyebrow twitch, and cousin to Daniel's, its meaning was: _game on!_ He brought the radio to his lips, a retort trailing across his lips when Daniel grabbed it from him.

"We have sound on our end, Sergeant." Daniel spoke into the radio. "You're free to go."

The tech gave a thumbs up at the camera and left Nick's quarters, leaving the man alone. Jack gave him a petulant look, and Daniel ignored him.

"So, what do we do now?" Jack asked.

"We wait until he falls asleep," Fraiser told him, as she sat in the empty chair next to him. "And see what happens."

"That's all?"

"For now." she said, a little more at ease that her machine seemed to be working, the data streaming out.

Jack O'Neill was a seasoned soldier, and like any, he had been through his share of stakeout missions. But patience was sometimes hard for him to obtain. And watching someone sleep, or, what was actually happening. Nick fidgeting for the last two hours. And Jack was sure he was going to go nuts if something didn't happen soon.

"Fall asleep, Nick!" Jack snapped into the microphone that broadcasted into Nick's room.

Daniel shot up straight in his chair, he's almost been out. He'd been running on empty for what seemed all day. He never did have his morning coffee. He knew that cup was still in his office; full, cold and feeling abandoned. And he would have liked nothing more than to embarrass that poor cup of coffee. He scrubbed at his face, trying to wake up. Even as sad as it sounded, that was his current dream in life.

Nick, on the other hand, hadn't seemed surprised at the sudden intrusion. An animal growl answered Jack. "_That's what I've been trying for the last two hours. Do you know how hard it is when you know people are __**atwcinhg **__you, and you're __**ookehd**__ up to all these __**irews**__?_" he picked at a few, his frustration seeped through in the form of an alien language.

Despite that, they got the gist of it.

Jack sighed. "Just... try," he suggested unhelpfully.

Despite his frustration, Nick knew enough to bit back his comment.

Both Jack and Nick's grumbles intertwined.

Jack sat back, his arms crossed over his chest. Daniel watched him.

"He's just as infuriating as you, Daniel." Jack informed him. "You turned my hair grey, and now he's gonna make it all fall out."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Quit being dramatic."

And in no way disproving Daniel's comment, Jack upturn his chin and scoffed. "Hm."

Daniel snorted and shook his head.

Daniel was elbowed roughly awake. "Ow." he complained.

Jack ignored him, his eyes glued to the screen.

"He finally fell asleep," Fraiser told him, checking the readings on her screen. "There is some activity in his brain, it's similar to that of a dreaming-state." she informed them both.

"But not the same?" Daniel asked, sticking his fingers under his glasses and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Not quite,"

It seemed that was all Frasier was willing to give at the moment.

Jack rubbed his hand in anticipation as he leaned forward in his seat. "Any minute now," he muttered.

Daniel almost mirrored him, and watched the screen.

By Jack's count, it wasn't seven minutes after that there was movement.

In the short time of ten minutes of sleep, Nick had already kicked the blankets off in his sleep and rolled on his stomach. It was a mystery to Jack how the kid didn't get tangled in all those wires.

Nick stretched like a huge cat, his arms stretching out above his head, his fingers curling and his nails turning into sharp claws that kneaded the fluff out of his pillow, as his back arched and he stuck his ass in the air; his furry tail sweeping the air. He leapt from his bed and onto his feet, his back and shoulders hunched over.

He cocked his head as he peer around the room, his ears twitching against his skull, before he seemed to focus on the door.

"What do you think he's doing?" Daniel asked.

"My guess, is looking for a way out." Jack said, taking out his radio to warn the SFs outside Nick's door, as Nick stepped to the door, either not noticing or not caring about all of the wires that attached him to the machine. He dragged it off the table and it crashed to the floor, breaking. Fraiser winced; they didn't just have those lying around the place.

But Nick didn't even seem to notice, nor did it do anything to awaken him. He stopped at the door, and though the angle from the camera wasn't great, Jack thought he saw confusion on his face as he gazed at the door, before he reached out and grasped it in clawed hands.

**[natural world] **"_Aturanl Olrwd," _Nick said in a guttural tone.

This next part, was a complete shock to all parties involved, but one.

Though Jack had warned the two SFs outside that Nick was on the move, it didn't seem to give them any advantage- except for seeing it coming. Their take down was both smooth and efficient (the tangle of wires not even inhibiting his movements); a cross between military combat and feral beast.

The two SFs hit the ground, Jack couldn't tell if they were dead or just unconscious (he hoped like hell that it was the latter), and Nick was moving down the hall in the direction of the elevators, not even pausing.

"Shit." Jack cursed, already on the moving. "Fraiser, get a medical team to them. Daniel, get Teal'c." he ordered over his shoulder as he ran down the hall and after Nick.

He caught sight of Nick as he loped around the corner on all fours; that didn't sit easy with him. He didn't have a weapon with him, and he hoped there wouldn't be a reason why he needed one.

He let out a shout of warning as the elevator at the end of the hall opened and a female tech stepped out. But if was for nought as Nick was already leaping through air. The woman's scream was cut short as her head hit the wall and fell to the floor unconscious.

"Nick!" Jack barked as he stopped about ten feet form where Nick was hunched over the lady.

He stopped, his ears flickering as he turned around to Jack, acting more animal than human in his movements. His mismatched eyes flashing as his lips curled as he bared his sharp fangs. Nick let lose an animal snarl that may have caused Jack to lean back a little.

**[cosmos portal] **"_Osmocs Ortapl?" _Nick cocked his head in query.

"Whatever you say, buddy." Jack had no idea what that meant, but he had a notion that it had to do with the fact that the kid had apparently lost him mind!

Seeming to come to the conclusion that Jack was pretty much useless, Nick turned through the open doors into the elevator, (the unconscious woman's foot in the way of keeping them open).

Jack silently cursed, he couldn't allow Nick off this floor, not with the way he was acting. Not making his greatest move as a General, he'd been in such a rush after Nick, that he forgot to also tell Daniel to look down this floor- hopefully, the archaeologist or Teal'c had enough mind to.

Jack carefully edged his way closer so that he could get a better look at what Nick was doing. He looked trapped as he looked around the box in confusion.

Jack looked at him, really looked at him. The person looked like Nick, but at the same time was different. He had never seen Nick act this way, this feral, this un-human. The way that he was hunched over, like he was unfamiliar with his own body and why it wasn't acting the way that it should be. His eyes weren't his own, they were the same colour as Nick's but it was what laying behind them that was a stranger. His red shorts low on his hips, their path obstructed by the orange tail at his tailbone that seemed to be sweeping the area in frustrated twitches.

Jack wondered if maybe this was Nick's suppressed animal instincts taking over. He thought back. In his room, Nick had looked confusedly at the door, before seeming to remember how to open. Now, in the elevator, he look stumped, confused why nothing was happening.

Jack knew that it wouldn't last forever. Nick seemed to have found the cause of the problem and pawed the woman's foot out of the way with clawed hands. Jack had to do something before it was to late. And against even his better judgement, Jack went for it.

"Jack?" Daniel called, finally arriving with Teal'c at his side, a zat in hand.

It was too late for him to stop now, the doors were closing. He slipped through them and was now stuck in a box with what might be a feral-Nick.

"Jack!" Daniel's shouted, but it was too late. He saw the women and went to her, she was just unconscious, he called Fraiser on the radio. "Why would he do that?" he asked his companion, standing up and glancing at the closed elevator door.

The only answer he got was a raised brow. "Should we not shut the elevator down, Daniel Jackson?" the Jaffa questioned.

Daniel looked at him open-mouthed. "With Jack in there with him? Nick has already taken out three people, Teal'c! What was he thinking?!"

"You underestimate O'Neill's negotiation skills." Teal'c told him. "And let us not forget the bond that Nickolas has with him."

Daniel said nothing further as they waited for Fraiser, but he couldn't help the fact that his brows knitted together in his worry.

Jack got over his brief fit of insanity instantly, and now he realized as he shoved himself back into the corner by the button panel, he was trapped. And that didn't seem to cool Nick's mood, as he let out a roar two feet from Jack.

"Nick..." Jack said in his calmest voice ever, despite his hammering heart. He patted the air lightly in a calming gesture to accompany it. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm sure we can figure it out."

In the small space, Nick was forced to stay on two legs. **[take me to portal]** "_Akte em ot Ortapl." _he hissed.

"Again." Jack groaned. "I have no clue what you're saying." he told him.

Nick didn't seem to happy with his answer and growled as he took a step toward Jack.

"Hey!" Jack protest as Nick grabbed fist full of his BDU's and pinned him with narrowed eyes.

He breathed heavily as he spoke, and impatiently. **[the cosmos portal, human! now] **"_Hte Osmocs Ortapl, ominihd_! _Onw!"_

"Whoa! I don't know what you're saying!" Jack snapped. "But I do know that you need to cool your jets, Lieutenant!"

That caused Nick to start as his nose twitch.

Jack raised his brows, what that really going to be what it took? Being a soldier was Nicks whole life now.

"Are you going to disobey a direct order, Lieutenant?" Jack said, standing a little straighter as Nick's ears flickered. "Do I have to repeat myself? Cool it!" Nick's eyes narrowed, but Jack wasn't backing down. "Do I have to write it down for you? Your actions are unacceptable! Disobeying a direct order. Conduct unbecoming. Disorderly conduct. Need I go on?" Jack stepped forward, his face a perfect mask of anger and disappointment, and Nick let him. The growling had ceased entirely, and his lip lowered over his fangs, but his fists were still bunched in his BDU's and his eyes were narrowed to slits. "Remove you hands, soldier. That's an order!" Jack narrowed his eyes as well, as he took another step forward and forced Nick back one. "Am I going to have write you up, Lt. Summers. Or... discharge you from the program?"

Nick's eyes widened like saucers. "_Naccuetablpe_!" he shouted. And then it was like watching him get shot it in the head. His head jerked back, his mouth wide, and then fell back like a pile of bricks.

Jack watched him go down, and couldn't help the wince at the thud of impact. He gave a sad sigh as he pushed the _open doors_ button for the elevator and knelt beside Nick; who looked so at peace now, but knew wouldn't be after he found out what he did. "What's happened to you, Nick?"

_y_


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: THE STROY WILL NOW RETURN TO NICK'S 1****ST ****PERSON P.O.V.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH5 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I gasp awake, bunched muscles taking me upward, only to be forced back again. "Wha-?" I opened my eyes, I was no longer in my bed. I let out a soft whimper; _why did this keep happening to me? _Like the other two nights, I had no recollection

I tried to sit up, but was again forced to stay where I was. I put my chin to my chest and looked down at myself. I was **not**__okay with what I saw. The white scrubs that replaced my red shorts was fine, this wasn't the first time it had happened. But the other thing, the straps that held me to the gurney upset me to an endless extent.

I pushed against the restraints with all I had. When I had changed all those year ago, my strength had expanded, I now stood between Teal'c-strength and Jack-strength; that was my measuring meter. But the restraints, they didn't even give a stitch, they over powered me. I collapsed back onto the bed, panting.

"Try to relax, Lieutenant."

"Relax?!" I spat. "Get me outta these and maybe I will!" I pulled against them for emphasis.

"I'm sorry, I can't allow that." Fraiser informed me with a gentle voice.

A gentle voice! What was **that** supposed to do, calm me? Far from it. It just made a fire of anger flare up in the pit of my stomach. I clenched teeth hard, so much so that I could feel my fangs bite into my gums as I strained against the binds, a growl ready to rip from my throat.

"That wasn't a suggestion, Lieutenant."

Jack's voice cut through, and it was like I was doused with water. I knew that it was for the best, but at the same time I was upset. I turned my head and looked at Jack standing next to Fraiser. "Why am I like this?" I whimpered.

I watched as the corner of Jack's mouth tightened. I looked at him with frightened eyes when he didn't answer me right away. My mind started to take advantage of me in my emotional state, and the things that it tried to show made me bite my tongue so I wouldn't react, until finally, he spoke.

"Things got a little out of hand last night," his expression perfectly bland.

I looked at him, knowing that he was down-playing this. And I knew that I must have done something terrible, something so terrible that I blocked it out. It had to of been so terrible- worse than terrible- if General Jack O'Neill was hesitant to say.

"Did-did I..." I took a shaky deep breath. "Did I kill somebody?"

"No." Jack told me with conviction.

I looked at him for a moment before I turned my gave to Dr. Fraiser, who had stood there silently. I licked my dry lips before I spoke. "Tell me," I begged her.

"Lieutenant," Fraiser sighed. "After you fell asleep, the data that I was able to gather, was that you were in something that was very similar to a dream-state, but after a few minutes of that, the activity in your brain completely changed, and after comparing it to other samples I found that it was the base-line of primal instinct."

I furrowed my brows at her, my heart hammering in my chest as I waited to understand what was happening. But this didn't help me. Jack took pity on me in his own way after giving Fraiser a look for just making things all the more confusing- I had to agree.

"You tigered-out." he explained in his own manner.

I looked at him, my mouth open. The last time I had ever heard Jack say that was almost a year ago. It was what he called it when I turned into my tiger counterpart. But that was the last time, because I no longer transformed into anything; I was stuck halfway. A freak show. But I felt excitement bubble up in my chest. He said that I "Tigered-out", I changed into a tiger. Maybe that was what these black-outs were. Maybe I wasn't stuck after all, maybe it was just taking a little time for my Quatonian side to come out.

"I _ranstormefd?"_ I asked, my expression bright.

Jack squinted at me. "Say again?"

"Oh." I shook my head. "I **transformed**?" I repeated, making sure that my tongue and lips formed the word properly.

"No." he told me, and any good vibes that I got from this whole situation withered and died- all my hopes, all my dreams…

The next exhale from my mouth was the beginning of a very familiar depression-state. "If I didn't transform, then what?" They didn't answer me right away, and both of their expressions were pensive. "Just tell me!" I told them.

I never really did understand why people always tried to deliver bad news "the right way". There was never a right way or a good time to deliver bad news, and no matter how it's phrased or the tone it's delivered, that harsh blow is always accompanied.

"We don't know," Fraiser finally spoke, truthfully. "There was some kind of change in your mind-set. You acted more animal than human. You were trying to get somewhere, you made it all the way to the elevator..."

But I still looked confused. yes, maybe my mind was being slow, but being strapped to a bed after a blackout tended to do that to you- especially when no one else could understand it either.

Jack looked at Fraiser and she nodded. "I'll leave you two alone," she said, and left.

That probably wasn't a good sign.

He pulled up a chair from somewhere behind me and sat. I watched him, and he looked back. I could tell that he was feeling uncomfortable, and it had nothing to do with the plastic chair. I knew that one of things that he hated most about being General- other than all the paperwork that came across his desk- was the fact that he always had to deliver the news.

So I knew that something was coming, bad, by the way that Jack squared out his shoulders, and kept his expression perfectly bland.

"You attacked three people last night, Nick." Jack said bluntly.

And there it was, the wind up, and the knock-out. I felt at a loss for breath. I wanted to ask him again, to tell myself that I simply hadn't heard him right. But I knew that those were just lies that I wanted to tell myself. Jack wouldn't tell me if wasn't true or something as serious as this.

"I-I did?" my voice came out hoarse with my horror.

Jack nodded. "The two SFs that were outside of your door, and a tech that came out of the elevator.

I paled considerably, and I turned my face from his view. I took deep, shuddering breath. "Are they all right?"

I could feel his concerned stare at the back of my head as he answered. "Yeah. Just a couple scratches and concussions."

I nodded, my head rubbing against the pillow. That was good... that I didn't kill them. I shoved the feelings that wanted to overwhelm me back; I could deal with those when I was alone.

"What's going to happen to me?" I asked him quietly.

He sighed, and my heart was in my throat. "For now, until we can figure out what's happening to you, you're going to have to stay in containment."

"And the restraints?"

"It sucks, but they're gonna have to stay for now, Nick."

I was really starting to hate the phrase: "for now".

"I have to go," Jack told me, and I could hear the scrape of the chair legs against the floor. "But Daniel wants to see you..." he trailed off, leaving the statement open and my choice entirely.

I felt the corner of my lips flick upward for a moment. Daniel... I knew that his worry for me and his excitement at the prospect of learning a new language were neck-in-neck in their fight to claim dominance over him. But despite my friendship with him, company wasn't the thing that I needed to most right now- it was actually the opposite.

I shook my head. "Now's not a good time," I told Jack.

He nodded. But before he left, he left me with a little something. "It wasn't you, Nick. I looked into your eyes and it wasn't you."

I turned my head and watched his retreating back, my vision blurred with unshed tears that begged for release.

y


	7. Chapter 6

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH6 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now that I was left alone, strapped to the bed, there was no reason to hold back. Yes, I knew that there was a 95% chance that I was being watched, but right now I just needed to vent. I wanted to scream and shout but a sob left my lips instead and hot tears ran from my eyes.

My body shook with it and I would have liked nothing more then to scream into my pillow, but the straps kept me in place. I just wanted to be in the dark for a while, that always seemed to do the trick. But not this time, my worst nightmare was happening right now.

Ever since I had found out that I wasn't human, that I could shift into a tiger, my big fear was being treated like an animal, locked up and tied up. And it was true that this wasn't the first time that this has happened... but this was hitting the closest to home.

It was my friends and my team that were doing this, not some stranger on a different planet.

I still had nightmares about my rescue trip to that planet, the one with the mad doctor. Being unable to move... helpless as he cut into my neck. He ruined my life! And I still dreamt of the day that I would go back to that planet and rip his throat out with my fangs. A little over board?... not in a million years. I wanted to reach up and feel the back of my neck, just to make sure that it was stitched. I don't know how Mitchell felt about the whole thing, but sometimes I just needed to check. But right now, I couldn't.

The tears had finally stopped, and I was left with a wet face and no way to wipe it dry, I knew that when it did, my face would feel stiff. But that was a grain of salt compared to the things that I really needed to worry about. And now that I was done with my childish breakdown, I could go through them.

I had no idea what was happening to me, or why it was happening now, but it was. I couldn't think of what had triggered it, but one thing that I did know was that it only happened when I fell asleep.

I thought about what Jack had said before he left. Not the Daniel thing, the other thing.

_"It wasn't you, Nick. I looked into your eyes and it wasn't you."_

The first thing that came to mind was: _how could he look into __**my**__ eyes and not see __**me**_?

My second thought was: _I'm glad he doesn__'__t considered me to be a monster._

And now that I got those things out of my head, I could be serious about this, because that's what it was. I squeezed my eyes shut, sick of staring at the ceiling as I tried to think. _Breath, breath, breath..._

He said that it wasn't me. Maybe that was just because he'd never seen me in that kind of mind-set before. He'd seen me go into 'episodes' before; when I intended to shoot myself in the head in front of him, first of many. But they had all been targeted inward, I had never attacked anyone else- except for Joshua, that other Quatonian and that young woman; Joshua was intentional, but the other three were not.

So this was much more different. I knew what I was doing those times, but not these. I had no memory, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I wished that I could see the tapes, so that I at least knew what Jack was talking about, but I guess that wouldn't be a good idea. Though I still wasn't sure whether or not hearing it and not seeing it was worse. I sighed heavily. Concentrate.

Okay... so he said that I acted like an animal. The only time that I had come close to that was when I was in heat. It was an animalistic behaviour that I couldn't control. Was this the same, just some of my instinctive behaviour taking over? I was still stuck on what would trigger this now, and why it hadn't happened before. The only things that's changed since I first become my true-self was that I was stuck in between, I haven't been off-world in what felt like forever, and three days ago was the first time I had been topside since I've been stuck.

I mean, that's all I could think of, and all of those are nothing spe- my thought derailment screeched to a halt. It was the most obvious thing, I had said it a couple times already and I couldn't believe that I was so stupid and thought nothing of it. God I was an idiot!

It wasn't anything that I did with SG-1 at the bowling alley, it was the freedom of not being trapped within the drab walls of the SGC. Could that be it, really? My animal side finally got a taste of the freedom that it could have, and Sebastian... Sebastian finally came out from hiding.

Was that it? Was this Sebastian acting out after being trapped for almost a year?

But nothing as strong or over-powering like this had ever happened before. If this was Sebastian-and as I thought through it more, I was sure that it was- he'd never taken over my body like that. Before, it was he would just supply me with information, or we would talk unconsciously when I kel'no'reemed with Teal'c. But nothing to this extent.

It was frightening. I thought that he was supposed to be my Tiger Guardian, so why was he doing this?

y


	8. Chapter 7

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH7 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"... _I mean, it's so fascinating; I've never seen a language quite like this. Usually all the languages that we've encountered had a similar baseline to a language here on earth, but the Quatonian dialect doesn't seem to..."_

I let Daniel's fast chatter just wash over me and drip off, not really paying attention to what he was saying, instead just the sound of his voice. The one where the words seem to come out of his mouth too slow as his brain's gears were running at ultra-speed. He didn't seem to notice though.

After my meltdown and a few hours of me-thoughts, and a failed attempt at kel'no'reem- you can't blame me for it; it was rather hard to center myself and obtain that kind of calmness while I was strapped to a bed- I had finally agree to let Daniel visit.

We had went through the usual charade of useless questions and bland answers that had no such substance to them. And then Daniel's excitement over a new language couldn't be contained any longer; and I was gland that he could talk about these things for hours. I needed the distraction: it had started to get sweaty under the straps that hooked my wrists to the one around my waist, and it felt slimy; and there was this itch, I don't know how long ago that it formed, but it was torture, it was in a spot that only I could scratch, but in my current position the hell I'd be able to do it. I may have stripped in front of several commanding officers, but no way was anyone but me touching down there!

I sighed, my eye twitching as I tried to at least rub it against the scrubs, but the angle just wasn't right.

"Nick?" Daniel asked.

"Huh?" I stopped and looked at him. "What was that?" So, maybe I _should_ have been paying attention.

He squinted at me for a second from behind his glasses, before blinking and repeating what he had said. "If you're not too busy, could translate some of these for me?"

"Not too busy?" I repeated in contempt. "Sure." I sighed.

Daniel nodded and looked at his notes sitting in his lap. He cleared his throat, and pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose with his finger. "..._atwcinhg?" _he sounded the unfamiliar word on his tongue.

"Watching." I told him without much thought.

He nodded. "..._ookehd?"_

"Hooked,"

"_...irews?_

"Wires,"

"Okay, now these ones are a little longer." He told me, rolling his shoulders a little as he squinted at his writing. "_Aturanl... olrwd?"_

I furrowed my brows a little. "Natural World," I told him, and decided to pay attention a little better.

"_Osmocs... Ortapl..."_

God, I really wished that I could see his notes because this was getting a little more interesting the further we got. I had thought that Sebastian had just wanted the freedom of Mother Nature, and that last phrase had supported the theory, but now, this became more serious and complicated. "Cosmos Portal," I said slowly.

Daniel eyebrows went up at that as well and he looked up at me. "Like the stargate?" he asked.

I shrugged in answer, not telling him that I had drawn the same conclusion. He wrote in his notes.

"_Akte... em ot... Ortapl?" _Daniel read, and he was right, these were getting longer.

"Take me to Portal,"

"Uh-huh. _Hte Osmocs Ortapl... ominihd_... _Onw!"_

I lifted my head of the pillow at that, what the hell had happened? "The Cosmos Portal... Human. Now." I said slowly, a little freaked out as to where this was going, and to who I had said that to.

Daniel seemed to intentionally keep his head down, and I sighed at the action, he was keeping something from me, and that didn't help my mood for this whole situation.

"_Nacc-ueta-blpe?"_ Daniel sounded out slowly, looking up at me.

The reason why I was slow to answer was because these were just snatches of a one-sided conversation, and I wanted to hear the other part- or more, **who** was on the other side. "Unacceptable." I said.

I waited as Daniel again wrote in his notes, and for him to move onto the next phrase, and I raised a brow when he didn't and instead tapped his chin with the end of his pencil as he mumble silently to himself.

"Daniel?" I asked.

"Hm?" he didn't looked up.

"Is that it?"

"Uh, yeah." he nodded.

He didn't move to get up or say anything more, already absorbed in his notes. I asked another question, seeing as he was distracted and would probably slip-up, I'd be able to get an answer.

"Who... was on the other side of that conversation?" I asked... conversationally.

"Oh, Jack..." he waved it off.

"What?!" I exclaimed. And he looked up at me in surprise with widened eyes. "I hurt two SFs and a tech, and left me alone with General O'Neill?" I demanded.

Daniel raised his brows at me, but not in surprise, more of a _are-you-kidding-me? _"You know I can't stop him when he puts his mind to something." he defended himself.

"Well, you shoulda' tried." I told him.

"And you think that I didn't?"

"Well..." I growled in frustration. "Then you should've tried harder."

Daniel sighed and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at him. "You didn't hurt him." he told me.

"But I could've," I said quietly.

"But you _didn't._" he said.

I sighed and looked away. I swallowed and licked my lips before I spoke. He watched me.

"I've been thinking- about what General O'Neill said." I started, turning back to look at him. He nodded, encouraging my to go on. I took a deep breath, "I think that it's Sebastian that's controlling me, and he wants to get to the stargate and maybe even back to PX7-232." I held my breath and waited.

Daniel was watching me with two brows raised in surprise, and I could hear his mind as he processed this theory. "That's very interesting," he told me. "I don't think any of us thought of that."

I let the breath out in relief, I guess that it was something- at least he didn't call me crazy, at least not out loud; in his head, maybe.

"Is there anything else?" he asked me, and I shook my head. He nodded. "I should probably leave you, I'll tell the others your thoughts." he told me as he stood up from the chair.

I didn't say anything as I watched him.

His sighed solemnly, his notes grasped in his hand and his pencil tucked in behind his ear. "Are you going to be okay alone?" he asked. "'Cause you know that I have no problem..."

My lips were pursed tightly together as I shook my head in answer to his offer. Why should others have to suffer for my consequences? He gave me a soft, sad smile as his eyes flickered behind his glasses, as if knowing my exact feeling.

Daniel left, the door sealing shut after him, insolating me once again in isolation. I took a few deep breaths to try and calm my erratic heart. So I guessed that I was back at the abyss. I was on the edge, but this time, not falling in. I figured that if I could just get across this chasm, then everything would be fine.

I fought the sleep that wanted to pull me in, I didn't want Sebastian to take over again. But I was sure this time it would go a little different. I was strapped in rather good, and I knew that he wouldn't like that one bit. But at least He would hurt no one else but myself, and maybe like this, they could get some much needed answers.

With nothing more to occupy my attention, and my will fading, I was dragged down into the depths of sleep and my sub-consciousness was shoved into a dark corner in my mind.

y


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER WILL TAKE PLACE IN A 3****RD**** PERSON'S P.O.V.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH8 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jack stared at the same crack in the plain grey ceiling of his temporary on-base quarters from where he lay on the bed, still clothed and booted, the same intensity in his brown eyes just like his at-attention-stare from when he was a-fresh-out-of-the-box-Private in the Air Force. He'd held it so long, gone without blinking so long that it blurred at the edges before the crack slip into two, a mirror image of itself, it held for a moment, before they collapsed into each other.

He finally blinked, giving his head a small shake. He turned his gaze away, trying to find something else to focus on, and they seemed to find the clock ticking away on the wall. Probably not the best thing, or productive thing for him to do. But Jack knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep a wink so long as the shit kept spraying around the SGC- or more accurately, Nick.

It was better than sitting there all night and watching Nick transform into something that wasn't himself, but at least he'd been distracted. He hoped that the radio by his hip would stay silent for the night, but knew that he just jinxed it.

He cursed as someone knocked on his door. "Come in." he called as he sat up, throwing his legs over the edge.

"Hey, Jack." Daniel walked in and closed the door behind him, his journal in his hand.

"Oh, it's just you." Jack didn't even try and sound like a happy camper because he wasn't one.

"Thanks." Daniel smiled but his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Jack waved him off as he ran a hand through his hair. "You know what I mean."

"I guess." he sighed and sank down onto the bed next to Jack.

"So, what's up?" Jack looked at him, his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hand.

"I talked to Nick a couple of hours ago," Daniel told him.

"He finally let someone visit him?"

"Yep."

"Sooo... how is he?"

"How do you think, Jack?"

Jack raised a brow at the sharp tone, but said nothing. It was a stupid question.

Daniel sighed again. "He came up with a plausible theory." he shrugged his shoulder.

That got Jack's attention, because as of late, they hadn't even been able to come up with diddle. He got to his feet and looked down at the doctor. "And?" Jack encouraged when he didn't continue, his hand moving in a hurrying motion.

Daniel raised his brows, but spoke. "He believes that it's Sebastian that's taking over his body, and is trying to escape through the stargate back to his home planet."

Jack stared at Daniel blankly for a moment. "Who the hell is Sebastian?!"

"Jack!" Daniel jumped to his feet in his astonishment. "Don't you ever listen? Sebastian is Nick's tiger subconscious."

"I knew that." Jack crossed his arms.

Daniel raised that brow.

"Fine." he groaned, making a face. "His 'Tiger Guardian', right?" Daniel looked at him in surprise, and Jack looked back a little smugly. "I'm not totally oblivious to peoples ramblings, you know." Daniel shook his head, and Jack dropped his arms back to his side. "So, if Nick's theory is true, then why would he want to take Nick back to that place after everything that's happened there?"

Daniel had had the same thought, and he was sure that Nick had too, but he had no clue. And his shrug gave Jack his answer.

"Did you tell Fraiser?" Jack asked, sitting back down on the bed next to him.

"Yes. But she's not sure if it'll do any good, all of this is happening on a subconscious level. She'd decided that waiting it out, and trying to communicate is the best action for now." Daniel explained.

Jack nodded. He supposed that was all they could really do, short of sticking Nick with a couple of Goa'uld memory probes.

They sat in silence after that, 'cause there was nothing to say, but that didn't last long before static, followed by Fraiser voice came from the radio.

"_General, Summers has escaped isolation!"_ She yelled urgently.

Jack grabbed his radio as he shot to his feet, Daniel following him. "Teal'c, status!" he barked back, through the door with Daniel close on his heals.

_"Nickolas has dispatched two of Dr. Fraier's techs, and the two SFs outside of his room. He has secured a weapon and has escaped through the hatch on this level_." Teal'c reported in, sounding on the move.

"Daniel," Jack called over his shoulder, "Get Walter and tell him to lock the base down, all unneeded personal are to stay out of the hall. Get Mitchell; I want an SF at every hatch and elevator. If Nick's spotted, report in, do not approach and non-lethal weaponry only!"

Daniel skidded to a halt at the elevator as Jack jumped in, and picked up the phone next to the I.D. scanner.

Jack gave him a grim nod as the door slid closed and he held the radio to his lips, speaking as he pressed level 28. "Teal'c, head to the gate room. That's where he was trying to get to, so I'm betting now is the same."

"_Indeed, O'Neill."_ Teal'c agreed.

When Jack got off on level 28, he didn't like what he saw. Downed soldiers. He cursed as he knelt beside the two SFs checking for signs of life. "Fraiser, I got two down at the elevator on level 28." he reported, and took a 'zat from one of the soldier's before he was on the move again. "Teal'c, Mitchell; talk to me!"

Mitchell reported in first, sounding breathless. "_I'm in the escape hatch General, and he got out on the 28th; I got a knocked-out SF on my hands_!"

"Teal'c?"

"_I am approaching the control now, O'Neill." _Teal'c came over the radio.

"Mitchell, get you ass down there!" Jack ordered. "And lock it down!"

"_On my way!"_

Jack had no idea how this had gotten out of control so fast. The restraints that had been containing Nick, had been enough to hold a Goa'uld, so he didn't know how that happened. Let alone the slip up that Fraiser's people made for him to be able to escape containment.

He was just rounding the corner when the shouting reached his ears; Teal'c's deep baritone, Mitchell's drawl not so casual, and Nick's- or more Sebastian's guttural alien tones. There was a crash, a shot was fired, and the sound of the event horizon completing.

Jack threw open the door to the control room and jumped up the steps. Walter was knocked from his chair unconscious. Teal'c was standing over his body, but looking out the window down at the stargate. Jack skidded to halt and looked down into the gate room. Mitchell was quickly jumping to his feet where it looked like he had dove out of the way of a gunshot. And Nick was running up the gate ramp on all fours.

"_Mitchell, stop him!" _Jack yelled through the gate room speaker.

Mitchell primed his zat gun and fired as Nick leapt through the air to the blue event horizon. Blue leapt from the zat, striking out in multiple directions, and played around the confines of the metal ramp as the tip of Nick's tail disappeared through the gate.

Jack cursed audibly, and Teal'c raised a brow in his direction. Jack ignored him as he barked through the speaker once more. "_Mitchell, gear-up; you're leaving in 5!"_

Mitchell nodded and loped from the gate room as the event horizon snapped shut.

"You too, Teal'c." Jack said to the bigger man as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. Teal'c nodded and with big strides, left for the locker room. Jack glanced at Walter, who looked to be coming around; _good, they didn't have time to waste._ "Fraiser, send one of your people to the control room, we got a possible concussion."

Jack groaned, heavily and weighted as he waited for Walter to come around. He wondered how the hell Nick had been able to make this far with what might as well be a squad of soldiers pursuing him- not to mention Teal'c- he didn't think it possible. But it appears like they underestimated the man completely utterly. This whole situation went FUBAR far quickly than Teal'c's brow could reach his 'hair-line'.

They needed to get Nick back yesterday; this breach was unacceptable and he dreaded the conversation that he was going to have with the higher-ups when he reported this disaster.

y


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER WILL RETURN TO NICK 1****ST**** PERSON'S P.O.V.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH9 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Some how, I just knew that when I opened my eyes, I wouldn't see grey. I knew that I wouldn't be strapped down. Though that was a relief, I knew that something bad had happened. It seemed that I was a magnet for this type of thing.

I was scared to open my eyes because I was the most comfortable I had ever been in my entire life. I was sure that this was what it was like to lay on a cloud, though that could never happen because they were just moister. So I opted for a marsh-mellow bed; comfortable and edible.

But I was just hiding behind the marsh-mellows, and knew that I was going to have to find out what had happened. I remembered the last time that I had felt this comfortable, when I had that realistic vision. The one where Joshua- God that name just made my heart freeze and my blood burn through my veins live molten lava- had captured me and tied to that bed and proceeded to rape me.

I felt ready to kill somebody- anybody- who dared to even come near, no matter their intention. But as I moved my limbs, I was ecstatic when I found that they weren't bound just as I had first suspected. Ready to face the fact, I slowly inched my eyes open.

No way in hell was this the SGC! Not a stark grey thing in sight. The whole room was filled from top to bottom in elaborate design and colours, all beautifully coordinated, and nowhere near tacky as one might think. Especially Daniel, he probably wouldn't know where to start. The paintings on the wall, the rugs upon the floor, the many vases and statues that adorned the furniture.

But I still had no clue where I was. It wasn't the SGC. I was sure that I wasn't topside on Earth, seeing as I was inside. So had I really gone through the stargate? Not me- Sebastian. I shook my head, trying to straighten my thoughts.

First things first... I sat up and looked down at myself. I felt somewhat comforted by the fact that I was still clad in white scrubs- that meant that strangers hadn't undressed me while I was out, and then redressed me; I had found that it happened to me on what almost seemed like a regular basis. I found that I wasn't on a bed, but instead what I could only call a nest of cushions in the center of the room.

I looked about, trying to figure how I was going to get out of this. It was so comfortable and I hated to leave it, but knew that whatever could be lurking behind that door could possibly be dangerous. I had no clue where I was, but I did know that I was vulnerable in my current position.

I had no other choice than to roll my way out. I had just climbed to my feet when the creak of hinges alerted my to the fact that someone had entered the room. I swung to face the open door, my muscles tensed, my bare feet apart, as I held my hands in front of me, ready to fight.

To my surprise, I found that I was facing a young woman who seemed to be Carter's height. Her hair was like coal black, and the wavy locks were pinned up at the crown of her head. Her face was heart-shaped, and her nose was sharp. Her eyes were big and the deepest shade of caramel. The gown that she wore flowed over her curvy figure in a dark shade of blue, not in the least taking away from her Hershey chocolate skin.

My breath was taken from my throat and I was unable to demand who she was and where the hell I was. But she spoke for me and answered all the questions that I couldn't seem to voice.

"Hello." she greeted, her voice fitting her lips perfectly. "My name is Erin. I know you must be very confused, but you should not fear, sire, no one dare harm you." I looked at her open-mouthed, and she showed me a small smile. "You are here on Quatonia, the home-world to all Quatonians. Your birthplace," she told my.

"No!" I yelled and her eyes widened in surprise at the venom in my voice. I didn't want to be, and for all I knew she was a very nice person, but the answer was **no. **And I told her so, "I will not go through this again. I want out of here, now! Anyone who tries to stop me, should make peace with their life." I was completely serious, and my foot stomped the floor for emphasis.

Erin nodded her head solemnly. "If that is what you wish,"

I looked at her in surprise. "Really?" I couldn't believe it was that easy.

"But before go through the _Osmocs Ortapl, _I bid that you hear what I have to say, sire." she was still so polite despite my earlier to tone. She waited.

I stayed there. Firstly, because I didn't know where the 'gate was and from experience that I had been beamed from the stargate; possibly to the other side of the planet, or even its moon. And secondly, I could detect the sincerity in her words. I didn't know what kind of ruler they had in place after Joshua and his cousin- but I was sure that Sebastian wouldn't take me here if there was danger; at least I'd hope not. And I did guess that there was no harm in hearing what she had to say.

Finally, I nodded, my lips pursed tightly together, though I didn't relax.

She nodded, her expression looking a little disappointed that I was reluctant, but she didn't dwell on it long. "Almost thirty years ago, the true royal family lead a peaceful rule, but a lower noble family rose up against them and forced the true family from the throne in violence and death. They rounded up all those of the true bloodline and held them prisoner until they executed them in from of the community- but the queen escaped through the _Osmocs Ortapl, _pregnant with the heir to the throne."

I nodded, though I didn't get what the history lesson was for, I had a bad feeling that I wasn't going to like where it ended. I had my suspicions and it was just a matter of time before they were proven correct. I dreaded when she spoke next.

"She died giving birth, but her son survived... You, sire." Erin's voice was soft.

I felt my blood flush with dread. I groaned. "Of course it is," I muttered in contempt as I rubbed a hand down my face. Why did this always happen to me, why couldn't some other person be an alien from another planet? I crossed my arms and looked back at her, wishing that she wasn't as beautiful as she was for a moment. "So what you're saying is that I'm your long lost ruler?"

She nodded, pleased.

"Is that why I'm here?" I questioned, but to my great surprise, Erin shook her head.

"As a true royal, you have a Guardian that passes knowledge to your from many generations. He has sensed that something is not right with you for sometime, and has brought you here so that we may heal you."

I looked at her suspiciously. "Wrong like what?"

"The Quatonians have an enemy that is on another planet, he is a scientist that has captured many of our kind and has done many atrocities to them for his own joy." I shivered as the reminder of that psycho. "Some have escaped his clutches, but had become stuck in transition between both of their true-selves. Over time, they had overcome this and became two in one once again."

I looked at her with widened eyes as something inside of me did a flip as I tried to contain the filling excitement. I could be normal once again! Could it really be that easy? Before I could stop myself, I found the words leaving my lips against my better judgement and thought.

"You can help me?!"

Erin nodded, "If that is what you wish."

"Hell yes!" I agreed and she raised her brows at me. "Sorry," I winced, she nodded in turn. "It is." I told her, desperate, my voice calm and serious.

That was all that was on my mind. Not going home back to Earth and the SCG, not telling Jack and Daniel and everyone else that I was alright. Just getting out of being stuck in between, I didn't want to be there any more, I wanted Sebastian back, back when he didn't take over my body and hurt the people that I loved.

y


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER WILL TAKE PLACE IN A 3****RD**** PERSON'S P.O.V.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH10 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Report, Mitchell." Jack spoke into the speaker, the blue glow from the open stargate cast his expression into several eerie shadows.

Static burst from the control room speakers as Mitchell reported back. "_Sorry, sir. There's no sign of him; Summers must've used this planet as a go between so we couldn't track him."_

Jack let out a heavy sigh as he tried to scrubbed the tiredness from his face with his hand. "Alright, Mitchell, 'gate back and we'll try PX7-232 next."

"_Roger."_

_"_Cut it," Jack ordered Walter.

The 'gate snapped shut and 15 seconds later the chevrons locked into place and the event horizon burst into existence. Mitchell came through, and Teal'c came right after him. Their boots clanged down the metal ramp. Not long after, the 'gate shut down.

"_Wait there, Mitchell; Carter's gonna join you on this trip."_ Jack told the two.

Mitchell gave him a thumbs up.

Carter entered the gateroom on quick feet. "Here, sir!" she called up to Jack as she stopped next to Teal'c who gave her a head-bow in greeting and she returned it with a small smile. Unlike Mitchell and Teal'c, she had a backpack strapped to her back, carrying her equipment. The last time that they had gated to 232- several years back- Nick and Jack had been beamed away, so it was safe to assume that Nick may not even be on the planet; (SG-1 had gone to a few planets like this before).

"Dial it up." Jack ordered.

Walter nodded and loaded the planet's address into the computer. The chevrons locked in place and the event horizon settle in place.

"_Report in in an hour,"_ Jack told them. "_And try to stay outta trouble, would ya? One U.A. in already enough."_

He got a triple-nod, and the three disappeared through the gate. Jack waited until it shut down before he went back to his office; leaving Walter to call him when three-quarter-SG-1 checked-in. He made sure that he shut his door before he sat heavily in his chair.

He had Daniel stay on base to see if he could translate with the help of Nick's previous notes from the control room tapes, and hopefully get a clue to what Sebastian wanted. Yeah, it was quite obvious that he wanted away from this place, but why? It wasn't as if he was being held prisoner or something- but that did remind him that Nick hadn't been off-world in quite awhile.

Jack felt the guilt start, that damn familiar feeling as he slumped down in his chair. Was it his fault? Could he be to blame for this? Because Nick hadn't been assigned mission like every SG-team, because he wasn't on a team anymore. And if he never went through the 'gate, or wasn't allowed topside because he wasn't human any more... then he might as well have been a prisoner.

This realization hit Jack pretty hard. He had been held prisoner before by the Goa'uld, but he knew that it was nothing if you compare it with being held by your own people.

He put his hands behind his head. How was he going to fix this mess?

And hour later Mitchell reported in. They couldn't find Nick anywhere close to the gate- or anyone else for that matter- nor did anyone try to beam them away.

It was not looking good.

*********************************  
**2 MONTHS LATER...**

"_Unscheduled off-world 'gate activation!"_ Walter announced over the SGC loudspeakers as the klaxons flashed.

Jack came down from his officer to the control room, and SG-1 wasn't that far behind. "Talk to me,"

"SG-6 and 8 are currently off-world, but their scheduled check-ins aren't due for 1 and 4 hours, sir." Walter reported from his station.

"What's happening?" Mitchell questioned as he came up the stairs, the rest of the team close behind. The filed in behind the Staff Sergeant.

Jack gave them a glance before his attention went back to the 'gate. "Walter?"

"Uh, well. I haven't received an I.D.C., yet, sir."

Jack nodded. "Keep the iris up."

Walter nodded.

"What about a radio transmission?" Carter asked, a hand on the back of Walter's chair as she leaned forward and peered at the screen.

Walter turned to the screen as well. "I don't see..."

"Wait!" Carter stopped him, she pointed to a blip on the screen. "There."

"I see it." Walter nodded.

"May I?" Carter gestured to screen as she took a step back.

"Of course, Colonel." Walter got up form the chair at his station and stepped back as Carter took his place.

"Carter?" Jack questioned.

"Hang on, sir." she told him, typing on the computer. She isolated the EMF blip and ran it through the program. "There..."

"Carter!" Jack had been on edge ever since Nick went AWOL two months before. Not a word, not anything. And he wasn't even himself. He had no way of coming back. Every time there was an unscheduled 'gate activation, his heart would pound like a drum- waiting, _hoping _that this was the one- but it never was.

"Sir..." Carter looked up at him. "It looks like a data burst. I put it through the translation program, we should get it back any second now."

Jack nodded, his arms crossed over his chest as he and Daniel crowded around her, while Mitchell and Teal'c waited on the sidelines-_rather patiently,_ Mitchell might have added.

The computer let out a beep and a small red window flashed on the screen. Jack lifted a brow. "That doesn't sound good, Carter." he said.

Carter nodded. "It's not. It says that it's an unknown language."

"Daniel?" Jack looked over Carter's head to the language expert, but the younger man was all ready bent over the screen, it reflection on the surface of his glasses.

Daniel gave Carter a small smile as he reached around her and typed on the keyboard, scrolling through the un-translated script. His flicked back and forth across the screen, his lips moving without any sound leaving them.

A minute went by, and then another... and almost another-

"Jackson!" Mitchell couldn't take it anymore and by the looks of it, neither could Jack.

Daniel ignored the two of them as he stood back up and thumbed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "Could you send this to my computer, please, Sam?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Sure, Daniel." Carter nodded and sent him the file.

"Thanks," Daniel smiled and headed for the stairs.

"Daniel," Jack called after him.

Daniel just waved. "It looks like Quatonian, wait here and I should have a translation in a bit." and then he was gone.

"Quatonian? Do you think that was from Summers?" Mitchell asked.

Jack didn't answer and instead went for the winding stairs that led up to the briefing room and his office.

The three members of SG-1 shared a look, before following him.

True to his word, Daniel came to the briefing room an hour later, breathless. "I was right, it's Quatonian." was the first thing he said and the others sat up straighter in their seats, paying apt attention.

"Well, Daniel?" Jack couldn't even seem to wait for him to catch his breath.

Daniel couldn't blame him, Jack seemed to be taking this the hardest. "I have very little knowledge of the Quatonian language," he warned them. "But I'm sure that I got the gist of it."

"Are you waiting for an invitation, Jackson?" Mitchell asked.

Daniel glared at him for a second, but made no further comment, he was anxious too. "Okay," he took a breath and looked down at the printed up copy of the message, his scrawl taking up every available space. "_SG-1... the sire... wants... talk now... go... the Cosmos Portal."_

"Is that all?" Carter asked.

"As I said before," Daniel defended himself, "I didn't have a lot to work with." He knew that she wasn't criticizing him; they were all seemingly on edge.

"Who's the sire?" Mitchell questioned.

Jack let out a low growl, and as the other looked at him, his expression had darkened.

"Jack?" Daniel asked in concern.

Jack shook his head. "If I were a betting man, I'd say that the sire would be Nick."

"How can you be sure, O'Neill?" Teal'c said.

"That Quatonian bastard that always kept trying to kidnap Nick, always referred to him as 'Master'." Jack explained, his voice dripping with contempt.

"Are you saying that Summers is famous?" Mitchell's tone was incredulous.

"Nickolas can obtain that presence when he wishes." Teal'c seemed to agree.

Jack's expression scoffed as he ran his hand through his gray hair. "Does that thing have a time on it, Daniel?" he asked.

"Um..." Daniel's eyes quickly scanned his notes. "Ah, yep! It says... 1430h, Jack."

"Okay," Jack nodded. "We have-" he glanced at his watch, "Three hours until this meeting, so at 1400h get you gear ready; you'll be 'gating out." He stood and the rest followed. "This goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways: Bring him back."

He turned form the briefing room and went to the his office; he needed to make a call. He went to close the door but something stopped it, he looked and let out a silent groan. "What, Daniel?" he asked sharply.

Daniel just blinked in turn. "Are you okay, Jack?"

"Yeah." he lied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Daniel held back the scoff as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Jack. I know you."

"Fine. If you know me so well, then why did you even ask?" Jack turned from his concerned friend as sat in his chair behind his desk.

"Alright." Daniel sighed in defeat. But he didn't leave, and instead seemed to furrow his brows in bother-ment.

Jack looked at him, and then sighed too. "**What, **Daniel?" he asked blandly.

Daniel pursed his lips for a moment, as he hesitated on the question that Jack knew he had on his mind, and that made the General know that he probably wasn't going to like it. He could see the moment that Daniel decided that he was going to anyway.

"Do you think Nick'll come back?" Daniel blurted out.

"What?!" Jack's eyebrows shot up; this, he wasn't expecting. "Why wouldn't he?"

Daniel just gave his shoulders a little shrug and shook his head, and backed from the room.

"Daniel!" Jack called after him, getting up from the chair. But by the time he got to the door, the Archaeologist was gone. "_Why wouldn't he want to come back?"_ He asked himself as he went back into his office, but as he sat, he was afraid that he might know the answer.

y


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER WILL RETURN TO NICK 1****ST**** PERSON'S P.O.V.**

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH11 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I took several deep breaths in succession, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat and jumping nerves. I had a right to be guilty as all hell and nervous as shit. I had gone AWOL. Though, technically, Sebastian forced me into it. It didn't matter. That was two months ago- without contact, without anything. For all I knew, the SGC thought that I was dead until I had Erin send a message through the stargate three and a half hours ago.

And now, SG-1 was due to beam in any second now. I smoothed nonexistent wrinkles from my clothing. About a week into my stay here, I had discarded the white scrubs-them not staying white for long-and found myself clad in Quatonian clothing. I had no idea what it was made of, but it was rather durable. Who ever had tailored them was a genius! They were tear-away clothing. So that when we changed into our animal-self, our clothes would just harmlessly tear away from out bodies, instead of ripping into the shreds like many of my many BDUs-may they rest in peace.

The small stone room was bathed in an orange glow for a moment, as the beam transported my guests onto the receiving platform. This was the same tower that I had first been beamed into, along with Jack. It wasn't the only receiving station, but this was in regular use.

I stopped picking at my clothes and looked up to find SG-1. I don't know why I had even been expecting it, but my heart fell for as I saw that Jack wasn't with them. Of course he wasn't, I reasoned. Jack was the General and I was a grunt.

But my smile was still bright as I smiled at Daniel, Teal'c, Mitchell and Carter. It had been such a long time since I was with people that weren't complete strangers to me.

"I'm glad you guys came!" I said.

"Why wouldn't we?" Mitchell asked.

I shrugged. "That's for you to know and for me to assume."

Daniel stepped forward after giving Mitchell a look. "Nick, are you okay?" It was the first thing he asked, and I expected nothing less.

I nodded. "I'm fine-" I reassured him, but before I could get out more, he wrapped me in a firm hug. I hugged him back, a weight that I didn't realized was there lifted from my shoulders; my friendship was still intact with Daniel. "I'm great." I gave him a small smile as he released his hold on me. "In fact..." I held up a finger. "Notice anything different?" I held my arms open.

There was a beat of silence, and then...

"Nice clothes." Mitchell said.

I was too shocked for words. This had nothing to so with clothes. I was surprised that Daniel hadn't even noticed when he had hugged me. But then Teal'c-bless that big man-saved them all from themselves.

"You have obtained your human form once again, Nicholas." Teal'c tone was impressed.

"Bingo!" I clicked my tongue and gave him finger-guns. "Teal'c, you magnificent man! You observation skill still amaze me even after all these years." I praised him, and he gave me a head-bow in return.

Carter furrowed her brows. "How'd you manage that?" she asked.

"I'll talk on the way," I told them. "Standing around here for too long probably isn't a good idea." I shrugged my shoulders and turned to the door behind me. The four of them shared a look before they followed me down the winding stone staircase; my limp hardly showing anymore. "Do you remember the planet PX7-898?"

Mitchell scoffed. "I don't think any of us are bound to forget that nasty planet."

I nodded; Mitchell and myself had gotten the worst of it on that planet, while Daniel, Teal'c and Carter just got held in cages. "Well, the occupant is an enemy of the Quatonians, some who had gone through the 'gate are captured by him and experimented on, and few escape. Some of them ended up as I had- stuck in between our transition. So the scientists here found a way for them to complete the transformation. Most of it is herbs and things that are found in the forest and wildlife around the estate. And the other part was work with the _Piritsalistu..." _Automatically my index and middle fingers crossed, while my pinkie and ring fingers curled against my palm, my thumb extended, they brushed against the marker that was put on my neck by the Phantom Messenger when I had first came through the Quatonia stargate. "Anyway-" I started, but Daniel interrupted me.

"What was that?" he asked.

"What was what?" I stopped and turned on the step to look at him. The other halted as well.

"You did something with your hand and then touched you neck." he said.

"Touched my-? Oh!" I scratched my head in embarrassment. "It's a sign of respect."

"For the _Pirit-sal-istu?"_

"Right," I nodded. Daniel opened his mouth, ready to ask another question, but I stopped him in his tracks. "Anyway..." I waved that whole line of questioning away, what had happened with the _Piritsalistu_ was something that I didn't want to visit again. What I had been through to become fully human again... I shivered with fear just thinking about it.

We came out of the bottom of the tower, and Erin was waiting, along with another young woman.

"Guys, this is Erin and Lissa." I introduced. "Ladies, this is Dr. Daniel Jackson, Lt. Colonel Cam Mitchell and Sam Carter, and this is Teal'c."

Everyone greeted each other.

"Erin's been an adviser to me these past couple months, showing what's what." I told them. "And Lissa works with security."

Unlike Erin who was wearing another one of her elegant, tight fitting dresses, Lissa had on a special type of uniform. It was in forest colours, and unlike my own tear-away clothing, hers was specially made (like all those that worked in security), so that when she transformed the material tore away but the thin metal armour on the inside of the clothing stayed with her animal form for protection.

"Security?" Sam asked. "Do you need it?"

I gave a short chuckle. "After all that's happen, we aren't taking any chances. Anyway," I waved that off as well. "What do you guys want to do first? Colonel Carter, I know that you'd love to have a look at the technology here. And Colonel Mitchell, Teal'c, I'm sure that you guys would be interested in the Quatonian weaponry. Daniel, you will not believe-"

"_Nick,"_ Daniel stopped me. I looked at him. "We really need to talk." He told me.

"Okay," I conceded. "Uh..." I looked back at Lissa. "Could you call the others?" I asked.

Lissa gave a sharp nod, her short-cropped blond hair moving with her. She stuck her index finger and thumb between her lips and blew a shrill whistle. A few moments later, two boys came from around the tower. They were 12 years-old and brothers, to young yet to reach maturity and transform into their genetic animals through the _Ighrt_ _qof_ _Assagpe_ (right of passage). The oldest boy by seven minutes had black hair with crystal blue eyes and freckles peppered across his cheeks; and the youngest boy had blond hair with brown eyes and a tiny gap between his two front teeth. Their uniforms were a solid black, but at the hip on there shirts was the Quatonian insignia, no longer Joshua's family's crest, by my own- a feline paw with pointed ears at the top, and a encircling tail.

As they stopped in front of me, they showed their respect to me by making the same gesture as I had, they didn't have their marks yet, so they brushed their crossed finger across the side of their neck where my own mark was located. I nodded my head in return.

I stepped behind them and looked up at SG-1. "This is Clifford," I touched the brunette's shoulder. "And his brother Pikard." I touched the blonde's shoulder. "Boys, these are good friends of mine. This is Col. Carter, Col. Mitchell, Teal'c, and Dr. Jackson. I want you boys to do me a favour, I need to have an important talk with Dr. Jackson; so... Picard," I looked at the blond boy, "I want you to show Col. Carter around a little as you take her to Kaster, and remind him that he's to answer any questions that she has."

Pikard nodded rapidly, a delighted smile on his lips. "Yes, sire!" His crossed fingers brushed his neck and he turned to Carter. "This way!" he told her and scampered off.

Carter looked at the others and shrugged before she went of after the young boy.

"And Clifford," I smiled down at the older boy, and he looked up at me eagerly, wanting an important job like his brother. "Col. Mitchell and Teal'c are strong warriors, and they're always looking for an opportunity to discover new weapons for defence, so I want you to please take them Bouren?"

Clifford's back was straight and he gave a sharp nod, more in control of his excitement than his brother. "Yes, m'Lord." he touched crossed fingers to his neck.

"You okay with this, Jackson?" Mitchell asked.

"It's fine," Daniel nodded.

"Okay, lead the way, little man." Mitchell swept his arm at Clifford, who nodded and started to lead Mitchell down the same way that his brother had gone.

Teal'c bowed his head at me in farewell. "It was good to see you again, Nicholas." and he followed after Mitchell and Clifford.

"You too, Teal'c!" I called after him.

I glanced at Daniel, who was giving me the brow, before I turned back to Erin and Lissa. "We like to speak alone, Dr. Jackson in not threat to me." I assured them.

Erin nodded her head, and after a glance at Lissa, left for the estate. Lissa nodded and crossed her fingers to brush her mark that was on her upper arm, before she disappeared into the bush behind her. I knew that she wouldn't go far.

I turned back to Daniel, nervous. "So... You wanted to talk?"

y


	13. Chapter 12

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH12 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So it seems that you've gotten quite comfortable," Daniel deadpanned as he looked around my shrewdly decorated room.

I forced a smile to my lips. "What was it that you wanted to talk about?" I asked.

Daniel spun around on his heal to me. "Once you're done distracting the others, we're going back to the SCG." He informed me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, avoiding the operative part of that sentence "I'm not trying to distract anyone." I crossed my arms over my chest indignantly.

"Really?" He asked, giving me a pointed look.

I looked away and sniffed. "I'm just trying to repair the relationship that these two planets could of had if it weren't for Joshua."

"Mm-hm."

I glowered at him. "It's true."

"It's a good cover story," Daniel agreed.

"I'm not trying to cover anything!"

Daniel just pursed him lips as he looked at me with his hands on his hips.

"What do you want from me?!" I demanded harshly.

"For one," he said. "The truth."

"I am telling the truth!" I protest.

"No, you're not." Daniel shook his head. "Your avoiding."

"So are you." I pointed out. "So spit it out."

Daniel looked at me through narrowed eyes behind the lenses of his glasses, his lips pursed. I waited, nervous as I hoped this would drag on for a while longer, but it looked like Daniel's bull-headedness was my enemy this day, as he ploughed ahead.

"Do you even want to come back?"

Despite the fact that I knew this was coming, it was a shock to me and I looked at Daniel open-mouthed. He continued anyways.

"I told Jack that same thing, he was stunned too. But why else would you stay here for two months without a word? Especially before this when someone even mentioned 'Quatonian', it was like you wanted to kill everyone in the room?" Daniel shook his head sadly. "And with just the twenty minutes that the others have spent with you, even Mitchell can tell that you're happier here than you had been at the SGC."

I turned my back to him, my hand at my forehead. That wasn't true, was it? Yes, I had stayed without a word, but that was because _here_ there was a way that I could go back to the way that I was; and if I was back to normal, then everything else would fall back into place behind me. That was how it was supposed to go- that's how I _wanted _it to go. Maybe even _needed._ But it appeared that wasn't going to happen.

I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, and made sure that my expression was controlled as I turned back to my friend.

"I just wanted everything to go back to normal," I told him, my tone deadpan. "Everyone deserves a second chance. Even the Quatonians. They're not bad people, just the company that they kept. They helped me-"

"In a way that the SGC couldn't." Daniel remarked.

I looked at him for a moment before I gave a small nod. "Yes. Please don't get me wrong about this, Daniel. But they need me... they want me."

"And you don't think we do?!" Daniel demanded, hurt.

"No!" I shook my head rapidly before I looked at him desperately. "I'm nothing there anymore! I'm wasted, angry..." my lips pursed tightly in my frustration of not being able to express myself properly.

Daniel's expression was blank, his eyes hidden behind the reflection on his glasses. "You're running away." Daniel finally said, softly, truthfully.

"You're wrong!" I said through trembling lips.

Daniel shook his head, his expression pinched in his own feelings. "Why now?"

I balked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's changed, Nick?"

"Everything!" I snapped, suddenly. My fists clenched. "Every God damned thing, Daniel! I'm sick of hiding myself. I'm sick of being the odd man out. The freak. But here... _here_ I'm not! Here I'm normal." I whispered, and I could feel the emotion, feeling it prick the corner of my eyes. "I couldn't just sit there anymore; I'm not Teal'c."

"Then why didn't you just say something?" Daniel asked in anger.

"Because, I'm not a person. I'm a soldier, Daniel. I stand there, and I take orders, and I deal with crap myself. I don't talk about it."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Daniel protested.

"You don't get it, Daniel. And you won't, not until you become a soldier." I told him harshly. "You're a civilian, you get time to worry about the emotional aspect of thing, that is something that I can't afford. It's get in there, and get it done. But I couldn't do that anymore, because I barely even got to do that. Once I got to the SGC, it was like I was shoved in the closet and forgotten about." I took a breath and continued when Daniel didn't say anything. "Here- here it's different, Daniel."

"Because you're their _King."_ Daniel scoffed his disappointment.

"No." I disagreed, even though it was true that I had somehow became that. "I _never_ wanted to be a leader- of anything. I was completely content at being a follower."

Daniel's arms were crossed as he looked me up and down, trying to sort his feelings from his thoughts. He licked his lips and sighed as he rubbed his eyes with his finger and thumb under his glasses before he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You Military-types drive me to no end." He muttered, shaking his head. He looked up at me. "You didn't have to go crazy to say it, you know." he pointed out dryly.

I gave a small exhale of relief. It was something, to have Daniel at least understand why I did what I did. And of course I still felt bad about not a word for two months, and I could see that Daniel was still trouble by the micro-crease between his brows.

Hopefully it would go the same when I talked to the others, and Jack. I think that next to Daniel, I was worried about him the most. If this thing was going to work, Jack held the most cards. His words would carry where mine never would. I just hoped that he understood the way that Daniel had. But I knew in my heart that Jack would be a harder nut to crack then the emotionally-invested-doctor-Daniel-Jackson.

y


	14. Chapter 13

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
CH13 **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An hour later, Mitchell, Teal'c and Carter's guides, Clifford and Pikard had led them back to my room. They gave me a respectful gesture, their eyes sparking with responsibility before they left. I sighed, my shoulders slumped. I suddenly felt really tired. I slumped to the ground onto the bed of pillows that I had first awoken on two months before.

"So, should we call you King?" Mitchell drawled, looking down at me from where he stood leaning against the bureau.

I squinted up at him in bewilderment, running a hand through my light brown hair. "What?"

"Everyone around here calls you sire and Lord, so I was wonderin' if we should be callin' you the same." He said, his hands folded on the P90's butt that was strapped to his vest.

"Of course not!" I protested jumping to my feet. "I'm still Lieutenant Nick Summers, Colonel Mitchell."

Mitchell shared a glance with Carter. "You coulda' fooled us."

I couldn't help my hurt expression as I looked between them. Teal'c was as stoic as ever, his face and eyes unreadable and his brows giving nothing away. Carter looked troubled and couldn't hold my eyes, but Mitchell could- and his whole body seemed to radiate challenge.

I looked back at him, more wounded than I thought that I would be. But the truth was, I owed Colonel Mitchell quite a bit. He was the one that got SG-1 back together when they were splitting up. He had been the only one who could have understood what I went through on PX7-898, because he had gone through much the same thing. And he was the one the brought me out top-side on team outings even when I wasn't really a member of SG-1. If it wasn't for Mitchell, I would have gone crazy much earlier.

I thought that they would understand, just like Daniel had, and I thought that Teal'c would more than the other, going through the same thing as myself. And it cut me deep.

I wanted to be stubborn back, and mad as hell, but as I continued to look at Mitchell it slowly dawned on me that I wasn't the only one who had been hurting and scared.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen this way. But it did; it was out of my control. But you guys need to realize that this was something that I needed." I said with conviction, giving my head a shake.

It was quiet for a moment, as I looked a Mitchell, but it wasn't him who finally spoke.

"We understand," Carter said after looking at the other men. "And we're sorry too, our meeting seems to have been a little tense."

"Indeed." Teal'c agreed, finally breaking his silence.

And when Mitchell gave a nod, I felt that same relief as I had with Daniel but times three.

"So, what's the plan, Jackson?" Mitchell turned to Daniel who had been silent through the whole thing.

"Huh. What?" Daniel shook his head, clearing it before he pushed his glasses up his nose. "Ah, well... Nick's gonna come back with us so that we can sort this whole mess out."

Mitchell nodded. "Good. Like my Grandma always said: Go while the getting's still good."

The others murmured in agreed and we headed to transporter tower once again. Lissa was outside of my room, sticking close. And the same when with the trip to the tower. It took myself and Erin both to convince her that in the twenty-feet to the 'gate I wasn't going to get my throat slit. But in her stubbornness, came to the 'gate with us- where she looked rather on edge as I stepped through with the rest of SG-1. As much as she wanted to follow, it was a bad idea with how delicate this was and would be no help in trying to convince Jack. Erin was left in charge, returning to the position that she had after I killed Joshua and Sebastian took me to the planet.

When I materialized back on the metal ramp on the other side of the stargate and in the SGC's 'gateroom, the drab greyness of everything in sight almost made me twist my lips in disgust. I don't know what I was expecting when I came back, a welcome party was out of the question. But I didn't even get a glimpse of Jack, I was ushered from the 'gateroom by a med team and to the infirmary.

I sighed as I was dragged away from the others.

I was poked and prodded, stabbed with needles and blinded by flashlight beams. It was an hour before I was released from Fraiser's clutches. I was given a dark green jumpsuit to put on afterward. I looked for a very long moment before I looked at the Quatonian clothing that had become so comfortable to me over the past two months.

When I had my meeting with Jack, I didn't want to give him the impression that I was staying. So I didn't put on the solid green one-piece, and instead slipped back into my Quatonian clothing. My clothing, unlike Lissa camouflage, and the boys' solid black, was much like Erin's in the elegant factor. I had learned not that far into my stay that each person had different clothing for each stage or position in their life.

Children like Clifford and his brother Pikard who had yet to age in maturity and go through their _Ighrt_ _qof_ _Assagpe_, wore pure black clothing that was not tear-away. People in soldiery, like Lissa or Bouren, wore tear-away uniforms equipped with armour and blended into any background. Doctors or Scientists, like Kaster, wore pure white. And someone like the _Piritsalistu_- or Spiritualist- wore every colour in the Quatonian culture. Pregnant women or men wore white as well, but there was a pink spiral over their bellies. And it went on and on, so many that it was hard to keep track of. Erin of course, wore those elegant dresses, each one never seeming to be the same colour as the next, in her high position as my adviser or second. All of them with my family's crest.

So my outfits were as elegant if not more. They were a deep, royal red, the seams and trim were gold, and so was my crest. That was the colour of this pair. So different from the green.

Almost right after I had put my clothes back on, to SFs came in and escorted me to a holding room and left me there. There was a table, and two chairs, one on either side.

I sighed as I glanced around the small room. This was definitely was not the warmest welcome I had ever come by, but I've had worst. I took the seat that had a view of the door, cause that was where people who were usually in my situation sat, right? And then I waited. What, did I expect someone to see to me instantly? I wasn't that important, at least here I wasn't. But... there- there I _was_ important.

My hands clenched into fists in my lap, my teeth clenched. I felt that temping tug deep inside of, the one that I had forgotten what it felt like, the one that got my blood pumping. Was it really that bad here? That my happiest time was the two months that I'd spent on an alien planet with strangers, instead of the years that I had spent at the SGC with friends? For some reason that didn't surprise me, and instead I felt a stab of sadness when my mind didn't dwell on that, and instead instantly went on to try and come up with a plan to make sure that Jack let me come back.

y


	15. Epilogue

**NON REALIZED DRIVE  
EPILOGUE **~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I looked around myself, a smile playing on my lips. The sky was blue and clear. The sun shone brightly and freely. The day was cooled down by a breeze that picked up your hair. It was a lovely day for playing, the children seemed to agree. Dressed in brown tunics instead of black uniforms, kicking around a ball between them. their innocent laughter filled the air, and I breathed easily.

I had never been too comfortable around children before, but after being around these Quatonian children for almost five months now, it was as if they had been there my whole life. I still had no idea how I had convinced Jack- or the I.O.A for that matter- to let me live off-world. But it had happened and my home was here now.

What had happened to me almost six months before, was a blessing in a rather harsh and scary disguise. I never would have thought that what had happened- waking up in places and not remembering how I got there, and attacking allies- I never would have guessed that it would lead me to such happiness.

Here and now, in this moment, I was content. And that was good enough for me; Nickolas P. Summers.

_There will be a sixth instalment: __**NON-PALPABLE MATE**_

_Hope you enjoyed and I would love to hear your guys' thoughts!_

Y


End file.
